Whoa Mama!!!

Down in the deep low, the man says a whole lot of things.

Thanks for everyone who came out to the World Wide Dirt kickoff last week. it was a blast and i hope everyone got a little wasty.

House Of Will is in the final stages of completion. exciting stuff. It'll be available online and at some retailers around the milwaukee area.

Five things i learned this week:

1. Lands End sounds epic and cool, but its just a magazine where you can order some random shit.
2. i'm like the Tony Stark of the writing world. Except the suit, the coolness and Gwen Paltrow.
3. Wearing wet socks gives you the whooping cough.
4. Parker winship was born in the canyons of the sun.
5. Dead men tell no tales.

From the lion's moldy, beat-up heart

5 things i learned this week:

1. I'm dumber than I thought
2. People accidentally ate LSD in their rye bread's fungal pathogens three hundred years ago and they went crazy
3. Waking life can be more dreamlike than dreams
4. A speaker is the same design as a microphone: a diaphram, a coil, and two magnets. One can be used as the other.
5. The stuff I got will bust your brains out, baby. It will really make you lose your mind.


Favorite drugs:
1. Warm blood that's still inside a human being
2. THC
3. Alcohol
4. Sugar
5. Dreams
6. Jenkem
*Actually, my favorite would be all six mixed together with some Squirt

Rogerville in Summer, or A Sorry Excuse for a Post

Excretion was an enterprise of pain and effort unparalleled for Charles. He sat on the toilet with a wringed out sweat dripping countenance, breathing heavily and burriyng his head in the trembling bones of his hands. Charles hated his anus for the exact opposite reason that he hated his mind: it constantly spewed out rotten shit, whereas his mind constantly absorbed it. The two were linked to Charles, like his soul was a celestial swallowing black hole that gobbled up all honest emotion and real sensations into the mysterious singularity at its center, then leaked what it had digested back into the universe as toxic radiation, a thin and shadowy string of awfulness that now drained slowly into the toilet in the back of Ed's Appliances. Charles did not feel well that day. His mind, as it usually did when he was alone, looped neurotically around his own unfortunate situation in the world. That morning he had flown in from a two week stay at his grandmother's home in Savannah. One night, after a Casian schmorgusborg of spicy delights shared family style with his grandmother and cousin, Charles disappeared into the restaurant's men's room for twenty minutes before his cousin came to confirm that he had not just dove out of the window to avoid he and his grandmother's company. Charles explained in a hoarse whisper that he had had what he called a "bombastic and evil shit" that had become in the last few minutes, particularly unpleasant in the last few minutes since the flow of soupy brown excrement had turned to hot blood and plead for his cousin to take him to the hospital. Charles had ignored the symptom before, but this time it was much too alarming to leave unchecked and so he found himself in a paper gown in the emergency room for an entire night, where he was invaded by three different doctors. Just after the crack of dawn, the most professional of three doctors sent Charles's cousin out of the room and explained to Charles that he likely had some advanced form of colon cancer. Three days later another doctor was conveying to him with a southern accent thick as the bayou air that Charles had somewhere between ten and twelve months to live, and probably about only four or five before his symptoms would keep him permanently tied to the bed and the bedpan. That was Charles Harms's southern vacation: a bloody shit and a death sentence. His life had never been what he wanted to be, neither had he, and he realized on the north-bound plane ride back home that his dissatisfaction was as irreversible as his malignant colon cancer. He would die without ever caring much about life, without life and the other characters who populated it caring much about him, and he would do it in a very unpleasant and literally shitty way.

Thanks for sticking around for that. Here's a picture of a talented dog:

TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN

This heres a story about billy joe and bobbie sue
Two young lovers with nothin better to do
Than sit around the house, get high, and watch the tube
And here is what happened when they decided to cut loose

They headed down to, ooh, old el paso
Thats where they ran into a great big hassle
Billy joe shot a man while robbing his castle
Bobbie sue took the money and run

Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run

Billy mack is a detective down in texas
You know he knows just exactly what the facts is
He aint gonna let those two escape justice
He makes his livin off of the peoples taxes

Bobbie sue, whoa, whoa, she slipped away
Billy joe caught up to her the very next day
They got the money, hey
You know they got away
They headed down south and theyre still running today
Singin go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run

payments of patience

Holes and hell and Christmas bells, all shaking and quaking and ringing towards nothing.

I tried mama, and trying is trying, so try

Onward and further through burdens of calling

Numbers

And letters

And things that could make us feel so much better

I tried mama

Failed, but did.

So lets do justice to football and phantoms

Long shots or no, we must take them.

We must take them as far as we can, forever like that.

Let us take them. Lets take them.

must be the day that all of my dreams come true.

carraging through the shadow island strings
what care can mean
to a mother of five
when she hits the treble pangs
she asked someone once
if they knew what violin strings
were doing vibrating in her clavicle
and they answered that that's what
toastiness feels like right before the pop and ding
that signals doneness and jamness and digestion
in the stomach of the earth's soul
and the wise ones say then she gets excreted in
a panda bear mold on the polar opposite of the globe
and they'll give you a book called "Perfect Answers to Perfect Questions"
if you donate them a donation and they'll spend it on fodder
for their own digestion and razors for their scalps.



An absolutely great movie by my good friend Micah Bennker is up at the Man Eating Fish Entertainment website right here. I implore you to watch it and know that you will not regret having done as such.

coming this fall

"Does that sound like anyone we know?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQ-YzhaTjuw

this website is where you will find the trailer for the upcoming life-changing film In Spring.... It was created by my frenzied friend Micah Bennker and, just like countless gnarly crack whores in the southern Wisconsin area, I had a little part in it. Take a look. It is funny!!!