Permit

Think yourself different,

if you want but don’t.

aint worth it, no mercy,

no separate earth

Heavy Hands 5-7-11

silt and flack

i hear her sleeping and i see me typing.  i've erased seven sentences already before i decided on these ones. my nose is running.  it was warm out today.  i had to wear a scarf over my face while i worked in the silt today because i never did before and then my asthma kicked up and my lungs felt wet or muddy and it was uncomfortable i had thought to myself, "i would give $100 to not feel that right now." it seems like as i age, i will be more compelled to do smart things, like not work in a confined area full of soot and dust when i have asthma, like learn when it is best to keep my mouth shut and when it is important to say something, even if it is wrong.

people are important to me and sometimes the can feel like they're ghosts or maybe that i'm a ghost walking among the living and i don't know what goes in a single person's head or if a second is the same for us all and losing people scares me and gaining people scares me for the same reason and i had a thought today that all relationships are either beginning or ending.  i didn't even know what i meant by that but it was a thought i did not like and there should be two footnotes to that idea if you were to accept it.  1: that is not always true.  2: that's okay and you could think of your relationship lobby as having a revolving door and it is not a tragedy that people walk out, the important thing is that they were there at all.

i read william james one time and he was explaining the pragmatism of faith in god, defending it really, by saying that faith in god cannot be observed the same way a scientist observes a microbe unless they have faith, because having faith is what makes god possible.  the metaphor he gave, and i'm not trying to talk about god here, but about relationships, is of friendship.  you can't have a friend unless you believe that they are your friend.  believing they are your friend is what makes them your friend.  belief comes before the tangible as opposed to the other way around.

seventeen-sixteen-fifteen... etc., etc.

i should have come up with something more eye-catching for the headline, but i am no newspaper man.

TONIGHT: Jarrod Johnson's Lone Wolf Open Mic Night.  9 o'clock.  Henry's Tavern.  2523 E. Belleview Place.  Right around the corner from the Downer Theatre.  I have never had a less than really good time at them.

TONIGHT & EVERY NIGHT: Cold Wash Cycle, a new blog that is super cool that some friends of World Wide Dirt have cooked up.

what is in my brain right now?  coffee, johnny rivers, they shoot horses, don't they? dracula, the hair part, the blank page of my notebook, sex, philidelphia, camaradery, french fries and chicken sandwiches, 
is there a club that has ever had a better name than "whiskey a go go?"

Check Point

Yo Yo!

So I’m back in Milwaukee for a hot minute. And let me tell you what, its been a whirlwind week.

I left last friday from Colombia, which meant I took a four hour bus ride at 6 AM to the airport. I got there and hung out in the airport. I had pancakes, it was the second time this year, and as I feared, one time too many.

Anyways I got through customs. They harassed me a lot less with out a fucked up haircut.

Flight delay - Florida - barely make my flight to Chicago - Chicago.

Guy picks me up at the airport and we drive to Milwaukee.

Milwaukee - eat Jimmy Johns, talk with franklin, drink a beer at KP’s, pick up Tanya, hang for a second, make mac and cheese for Tanya. Slept.

Wake up. Play a couple games of Madden with Billy. Almost miss Badger Bus to madison but don’t.

Arrive at Memorial union - Sister Alyssa picks me up. We drive to Sparta. Sister Caitlyn doesn't know I’m back in the country.

Go to their hotel. She is surprised.

Eat a philly Steak, drink some pabst, play Apples to Apples, win Apples To Apples. Then i farted a couple times. slept. woke.

Went on a bike ride with my family. It’s cold and windy at first, then it’s nice all day. There were hills and busted barn, some lake, dead cow and deer skeleton.

Ate combos, some chex mix, juice, couple skittles.

Walked down a tunnel 3/4 a mile long. Yeah, for real.

Drove back to Madison and ate at Monies, chicken veggie wrap - dope.

Hung at my sisters place, watched Louis CK standup, find out Bin Laden is dead, me and mach made facebook jokes, watched King Of The hill, slept. woke.

Ate Mac and Cheese, watched Toy Story 3 with Caitlyn, take the Badger Bus to Milwaukee. Get off on 84th street, walk 28 blocks home. It’s was a hell of a nice day.

Do standup at Franks. Hang with Guy and Lil T. Lil Le kills it. Slept. Woke.

Met with the Trav Man. Went to Nick Lits birthday party. Laughed at his new ID picture for a long time. stayed out late, ate classic slice and taco dip. Slept. Woke.

Met with Trav Man and Guy and talked about Heavy Hands. Set up shoot. Talked about A Wild Introduction, new novella, or maybe short novella, or long short story, or regular sized short story. The term escapes me.

Clean the backyard, put on new toilet seat, watch NBA playoffs, play Madden again, make hummus, watch Planet Earth

-

Tomorrow - Get chicken wire, send emails, Lone Wolf Reading at Henry’s, I will read chapter one and maybe chapter two of The Year That Everyone Died - Season 1 - Rich and Free.

TYTED by the way is a drug fueled, ghost/traveling/dog/hyperlinked sex romp. Through constant editing and re-writes of the series that originally ran on World Wide Dirt I have created something passable as an American work of fiction.

Never be bored again day job folk. Can’t watch Madmen because you’re scared your boss will see. Online/text-hyperlinked/serial/drama. The Year That Everyone Died.

Friday Gallery Opening Sky High/Pop Up/Monica Canilao - yep - will be awesome Milwaukee, come join the fun.

ain't nothin like that egomania

I am a Buddhist (and that makes me cooler than you)

I am a Buddhist

And that makes me cooler than you.

I don’t worry about my hair

because I get emptiness, and I’m

too busy meditating and pretending

my legs aren’t cramped from

zen lotus position

I don’t care about money

because I am too busy reading

Suzuki Roshi contemplating 

my good karma I get from

filling space with philosophical

dharma talk for your benefit.

I get all that dharma i’ve read

but it’s too profound for you

Don’t worry though. Even though

I dwell in elevated realms, I can descend

from the bhumis to enlighten you. My pleasure.

-Mary Shippee

rainbow road

he was in a car crash and for months afterward whenever he drove on the interstate he imagined losing control again, the car flying out from underneath him, swaying into the centripetal force until the impact jams you out of it.  he drove to winsor and on the way it became night and on a long stretch between cities a new radio station caught on the receiver that played jazz under a hiss of interference.  the road was brand new and the white lines were perfect rectangles.  every overhead light was on.  there were sound barrier walls on either side of the road and beyond that, nothing.  "woh," he said.  it was entirely detached, like in a utopian sci-fi movie, like a ribbon unfurled in space (which is also a little like an ejaculation), like mario kart rainbow road.  he turned into a bend in the road, felt the gravity pull on him, sipped from a bottle of coca-cola.  two lanes over, a semi sighed.  coupled running lights pressed down the length of the road, stretching it further.  he accelerated.  the wheel hummed in his palms. shooooooooooooo