Well I don't mind working cause I'm used to be jerking off most of my time in bars.
I've been a cabbie and a stock clerk and a soda fountain jock jerk and a manic mechanic on cars.
It's nice work if you can get it,
Now who the hell said it.
I got money to spend on my girl.
But this work never stops,
I've been busting my chops
Working for Joe and Sal.
(tom waits for no man)
You're a jerk sap nobody sailor,
a salty-skinned, wool-bearded, wet-sweatered failure.
For ten cents a weekend, you let your baby sit at home
to wonder why she has a car or a comb
Do the books, check the mail
While your baby goes stale.
Make the beds, bleach out blood
While your baby pulls pud.
Put a mint to bed
it'll melt on the pillows
Try to find Fred,
and tell him he still owes.
You have to know what to do and you have to do it,
don't listen to excuses,
don't get angry,
cigarettes are a good excuse to go outside
and a good icebreaker for bums you have to chase out,
get out at least once a day
keep the coffee stocked
keep checking the email,
don't let them get loud,
don't let outsiders in,
judge people, use stereotypes,
trust people only when they've trusted you,
tell them you have to check with the boss and not to look behind the curtain,
don't appear lazy or well-off,
don't respond to charm,
don't respond to insult,
don't leave your room too often or you'll make work for yourself,
also, don't appear to be isolating yourself,
be nice, but know when to refrain
be hard, but know when to be nice
don't accept too much, don't give too much
always greet, don't always engage
put up signs
don't appear sad, don't appear bored
i don't need no boat
or inflatable raft to float
i don't need no prizes
or subtle disguises
i just look in your eyeses
and my weiner, it rises
i don't need no train
and no walking cane
i don't need a new bike
or to fucking hitch hike
i don't need to go nowhere
as long as you share
i don't need my sight
or my hands to write
i don't need no ears
and eyes are for queers
all i need is my penis
and for you to have seen this