kitty pictures and a throat clearing

Well I don't mind working cause I'm used to be jerking off most of my time in bars.

I've been a cabbie and a stock clerk and a soda fountain jock jerk and a manic mechanic on cars.

It's nice work if you can get it,

Now who the hell said it.

I got money to spend on my girl.

But this work never stops,

I've been busting my chops

Working for Joe and Sal.

(tom waits for no man)

You're a jerk sap nobody sailor,

a salty-skinned, wool-bearded, wet-sweatered failure.

For ten cents a weekend, you let your baby sit at home

to wonder why she has a car or a comb

Do the books, check the mail

While your baby goes stale.

Make the beds, bleach out blood

While your baby pulls pud.

Put a mint to bed

it'll melt on the pillows

Try to find Fred,

and tell him he still owes.

You have to know what to do and you have to do it,

don't listen to excuses,

don't get angry,

cigarettes are a good excuse to go outside

and a good icebreaker for bums you have to chase out,

get out at least once a day

keep the coffee stocked

keep checking the email,

don't let them get loud,

don't let outsiders in,

judge people, use stereotypes,

trust people only when they've trusted you,

tell them you have to check with the boss and not to look behind the curtain,

don't appear lazy or well-off,

don't respond to charm,

don't respond to insult,

don't leave your room too often or you'll make work for yourself,

also, don't appear to be isolating yourself,

be nice, but know when to refrain

be hard, but know when to be nice

don't accept too much, don't give too much

always greet, don't always engage

put up signs

don't appear sad, don't appear bored

i don't need no boat

or inflatable raft to float

i don't need no prizes

or subtle disguises

i just look in your eyeses

and my weiner, it rises

i don't need no train

and no walking cane

i don't need a new bike

or to fucking hitch hike

i don't need to go nowhere

as long as you share

i don't need my sight

or my hands to write

i don't need no ears

and eyes are for queers

all i need is my penis

and for you to have seen this