Christina Hendricks

Christina Hendricks is a pretty one.
She's probably funny, probably fun.
But I'll bet she's got quirks
of which she is embarassed
just like anyone else around
except for Joanie Harris.

Christina Hendricks is most likely needy
or else she's too detached.
Joanie Harris ain't either though
and her poise cannot be matched.

I'd spare some sugar for Christina Hendricks
and I'd even bum her a smoke.
But for Joanie Harris I'd drink thumb tacks
and lay down in hydrochloric acid to soak.

She's cute and rich and famous and stuff
and I'm sure she has other merits.
But I just want to sleep with Christina Hendricks,
I'm in love with Joanie Harris.

Christina Hendricks probably smells.
Good, I'm sure, but I'm just saying.
And she snores or she's boring or her friends are lame
or she likes a band I can't stand playing.

But Joanie don't snore and she don't have freinds
and they never zoom in on her record collection.
There's nothing not to like about Mrs. Harris
and if there were, I wouldn't know it to mention.

I've been to London. It was okay.
But I dream of going to Paris.
I'd buy a pint at the pub for Christina Hendricks
but I'd fall in love in Paris with Joanie Harris.