Dirt's Poetry Corner

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Zooming from the cave,
The saviors of god’s drunken work,
Descendents of the Gregorians and the amoeba,
Hearts are checker pieces,
Minds as precarious as any burning blueprint,
They meet yearly and put themselves in each other’s minds,
The universe has put them here as it put milk in the tit,
For life.
Some can fly and it is for you that they fly.
Some can dance and it is for you that they dance.
Some can mop and it is for you that they mop.
Some can look at you and keep a straight face,
And it is for you that they do as such.
So they say, business is bad, glory is bad,
But honeycombs and matching pajamas are good.
So, they help when they can and they look in the sun when they can’t.
So, they sew mittens in August.
So, they rebuild V8’s and keep up with the top 40.
So, they forget everything which is wasteful,
They are still hung over from one night sixty years ago,
They will never be satisfied and will never seek to be so,
They will live next to you and keep their lawn in better shape than you,
They will outlive you and your children,
They are silhouettes and when you say you can’t see their face,
They’ll say, “Lucky you.”
They are more than god and less than you;
They are leaving the cave and tonight it will be empty,
And you will never know it.

Dubs


trip wire

in slipping now dipping, it’s excellent
A perfect pageant softness quell,
I’ll be forgiven on judgment day
or so
Or so was said
or so was faked
…legion its perfect sort of coughing, running wild.
i eat nothing that helps, no sleep helps,
No dreams ending as beginnings will truly hold the shelf.
butcher, beaten, coldly tracing the lovely pattern bruises of domestic,
how do you say, how do you stay domestic, with pencils and pens, with
Post it reminders, empty senseless binders
We
Must
learn
to
starve.

Dirt

A few Things...

It wasnt reinventing the wheel but season one of Showtime's Californication was entertaining as fuck. They almost lost me at the ejaculate gyser scene, but rounded out the season with an episode that makes me wonder how they will continue. Thats a good thing you know, to keep them guessing. To watch David Duchovny lean on stuff and smoke cigarettes and Natascha McElhone be too hot to handle check out Californication.

The Junior Varsity is calling it quits. Check them out, show some love. Cool band, amazing dudes.

Russian Circles signed with Suicide Squeeze. Look at those locks.

According to Cops 2.0 stores lose 10 billion a dollars a year to shoplifting. So...fuck yeah lets keep it up.

5 Things I Learned This Week

1. Once you think you are exceptional your are immediately not.
2. If riding in a cab didnt cost money i would do it all the time, with no destination.
3. Severe sadness is relative to the amount of people making fun of you for crying.
4. Riddng a bike in LA traffic while talking on your cell phone is dangerous and makes you a douche bag.
5. life isnt as cool as drugs would have you believe.

Dirt

1. Being in FAO Schwartz while they remodel is like watching a pornstar give birth.
2. No battle is ever won. They are never even fought.
3. It's unpleasant to have to puke and poo at the same time.
4. The lyrics to "All Along the Watchtower."
5. In Blue Rock, Montana every day is a holiday except for Christmas and you butter your toast on the bottom side.
Bonus thing I learned this week: Black holes are real and they are around every corner.

dubs

Happy B-Day to Us & Muchos Mas!

What the fuck?

Survived another week on this planet and we're celebrating with the first annual two-headed, one square inch tortoise race. Sean, for some reason, has decided that it was fair for him to enter his hare as a contestant, but I still think Sunshine Superman (pictured above) will pull through with his superior pacing.
What an amazing day it is for me and Sean and our half-dozen friends that have been reading our blog out of politeness.

Things I listened to this week:
J.J. Cale- 5 (like a chainsaw made of blues is cutting into your skull)
Viktor Vaughn- The Vaudeville Villain (Who don't give a flying fuck who ain't not feelin' him.)
RJD2- Deadringer (good for times when you feel too sober)
Lifehouse- I went to their concert and I still don't know who they are
The sound of my own heart breaking inside my chest.

Things I watched this week:
if.... (baddest ass movie ever. an epic about absurd power struggles and fantasies at a boy's school with Malcolm McDowell before Clockwork Orange)
Battlestar Galactica Season One (God has a plan for all of us)
Planet Terror (some of the best jokes are about cripples)
A forty-year old woman in a Britney Spears costume put her thonged ass on the window of a bar while holding a plastic baby in one hand and a beer in the other (that really happened at Freak Fest in Madison and I wish I had a picture of the expressions on the people waiting outside of the bar when it happened)

Peace to all my brothers and sisters on the other end of this blog. Remember: we're all in this together.

Happy One Week Birthday!!!

What if this guy got you pregnant?

So we've been at this a week now and things have changed greatly since we began. They put the Berlin Wall back up for christs sake. Right now im deciding if i want to watch Defending Your Life or Tell Me You Love Me.

(While were on the subject, if you have a desire to see a mans ass just flip to HBO right now and check out the latter.)

Heres what i listened to this week...
Fionn Reagan (whimsical little sprite)
PJ Harvey- white Chalk (get ready for the gloom)
As Tall As Lions (keeps me rollin during the work day)
Converge- You Fail Me (halloween tunes)

I watched...
The Heartbreak Kid (laughed 15 times at least)
Californication (What would Hank Moody Do?)
The Office (world's most creative boss)
Dan In Real Life (This corn is an angel.)
Lost In Translation (Bill Murray baby)

Brad Childress has no fucking idea what to challenge. That fucking guy, Vikings blow another one.

Halloween Double Feature

I got Robert Rodriguez’s half of the Grindhouse double feature, Planet Terror on Netflix. I saw it in the theatre and seeing it again on DVD has confirmed my suspicion that this is Rodriguez’s best film to date. It works as a pinnacle of his career, displaying everything he’s learned in the fifteen years of his career since his first feature, El Mariachi.

Planet Terror has his best characters of all time. It achieves what I think Once Upon a Time in Mexico failed at, which is to pack the movie full of an equally distinct, interesting, and compelling cast of characters. Freddy Rodriguez and Rose McGowan are hilarious and awesome as the two lead badasses in a cast full of badasses. Countless other memorable actors from an amazing cast including Naveen Andrews, James Brolin, and Michael Parks. The gore is original and exciting, and also with a lot of humor and style.

Best of all, Planet Terror has a rocking and reeling story that functions more like a light-hearted adventure in the vain of Jurassic Park than a traditional horror movie. Every second of each of the many intertwined subplots is blowing you away with emotion, gore, action, sex, suspense, comedy until the geniusly absurd ending. It goes from go-go bar to a military base and then eventually to the ruins of an ancient civilization. It goes in every wild direction it can and it is beautiful.

Of course, Death Proof makes an awesome second half to the double-feature, with its severe change in tone that still maintains the sense of fun from Rodriguez’s movie.

The other day I didn’t have Death Proof, nor did I have a life to live, so I watched His Girl Friday to complete the double feature instead. It was an awesome companion to Planet Terror, its polar opposite in some ways. Made by Howard Hawks in 1940, it has a tiny cast, about three different sets, and it’s completely colorless. It’s also just as entertaining as Death Proof. Cary Grant is as bad as any motherfucker breathing today and never badder than in His Girl Friday. Just like Planet Terror, this movie never lets the audience rest for a second. The jokes are fired off like out of a machine gun and the characters are as beautifully drawn as in any novel.

It’s not a horror movie, but fuck whoever says you can only watch horror movies on Halloween. These are two cool movies that will actually, in my estimation, make you a more interesting person after having watched them back to back.

Street Mutants

I went and saw Interpol last night on Jimmy Kimmel. Apparently some woman lost her mind and was dragged out of the audience. The 93 year old fitness guy made me feel bad about myself and Ray Liotta was awesome.

I think interpol was having technical difficulties. they cut their set short and i got some Butter Finger ice cream. It was delicious (take that Parker!).

Coming up is the big one week anniversary of World Wide Dirt, to commemorate said anniversary Madison Wisconsin will be holding a party on state street this weekend. People are encouraged to come in costume.

As always, watch out for tear gas and greased poles....thats what she said.