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love, world wide dirt

Saturday, December 15, 2007

By night they leave their graves, crawling, shambling, through empty streets, whimpering, pleading, begging for his blood!

I don't know if there are any blog readers left that I haven't personally offended on this site, but if there are, then they are much bigger assholes than anyone I've mentioned before. Now that there is officially not a single reader of this blog, it is going to be sold to a fetish porn production company at midnight tonight. Sean and I are being handsomely payed and will be spending the next months aboard a diamond yacht, cruising the open sea, saving fair damsels from pirates and smoking blunts with kings. You can also catch us occasionally on the new World Wide Dirt site in our own series of fetish porns, entitled "What's Being Rubbed on Sean's Nipples Today?"

So I Am Legend was really pretty amazingly good. I went in thinking I was going to see an okay movie, and I realized in the second scene of the movie that I was watching a fucking movie. It's a version of The Last Man on Earth with Vincent Price, which is also a badass movie, but not as badass as this one. Like finding one M&M mistakenly placed in a chocolate chip cookie is badass, but fucking Sara Silverman all night is fucking badass. Will Smith is his most likeable since the Fresh Prince. I could watch a TV series about him and his dog walking around post-apocalyptic, vampire-ridden New York and getting in adventures for whole seasons. He was really good. The monsters were really good. The ending was slightly less cool than the rest of the movie, but still badass, and what else do you want? How about Bob Marley as a soundtrack. Then I went X-mas shopping and had to borrow money from my sister to buy her a present, which was God's way of telling me that I am on the path.


machONE said...

I haven't heard anything good about this movie yet, but maybe i'll have to just go see it for big willy.

It's what he would want me to do.

Dubs said...

yo. i hear the rainstorms ain't nothing to mess with, but I can't feel a drip on the strip. It's a trip. Honeys rolling 'round fully equipped and they be screaming out, "Willy, we loved your last hit!"