A Pat On The Back

An excerpt from Sean Williamson's upcoming book Mighty Me

Tonight I got it bad and they don’t know it. Little Steve lays out some shots and Merna cackles like a demon watching Three And A Half Men. It’s busy, for Wednesday it’s busy, twelve or so overall.

I take the shot and Little Steve opens me a beer. I eat some popcorn, look at my phone, take a sip, look at my phone, take out my wallet and look for a phone number I wrote on the back of a CVS receipt, look at my phone.

Karl with the broken arm tells me about his kid busting his garage door. I ask him how his arm is doing.

“Still broken” he says.

Nobody calls me Dirty anymore. Which is good, or maybe it’s because nobody sees me anymore. I’ve been out of the loop. Hanging out with Wendy and whatnot.

Two guys a few years younger than me in school talk in the corner by the BASS poster. It has a bass on it. One says to the other-

“Well you shouldn't have just tossed em’ without asking”

To which the other replies “I just figured everyone was done with the penis cakes. How much penis cake does one household need anyway?”

Which I thought was a fair question, but forget that now, focus man.

No call, no text, maybe she’s at her mothers house. But you won’t go there, her mother is not into you, you are not her favorite person.

These people here, they don’t know. Unless you show it.

And everyone laughs crazy as hell at what that lady from Kenosha says and we all have another shot.

I walk outside passed three twentysomethin’s saying nothing and into the road, the air is wet like summer but it’s colder now. These people don’t know anything right now, if they do they only know a version, they don’t know you got it bad.

And its a dastardly oneupper when you tell the woman you love you cheated and she tells you she’s pregnant. But that, my friends, happened just a few hours ago, to me.

I shoudnt have said anything, hell, when i said-

“Baby I got something to tell you.”

She said excitedly “Wait, me first.” with beaming eyes. But I told her it couldnt wait, then what I did.

And all the boozing and stumbling, strip club clubbin, all the backstabs and overdoses, long looks and cold shoulders, cheap beer, nasty leers, accidental success and almost impossible failures - this really takes the cake.

My Lady, pregnant with my baby probably doesn't want to see me anymore. I’m surprised she ever did. I made damn well sure to fuck this up, thanks me.