5 Things I Learned This Week:
1. I get no respect. When I was born the doctor held me in front of
my mother. He said, "I'm sorry, ma'am. We did everything we could,
but he pulled through anyway."
2. Horoscopes are only true for Aries people.
3. Motherfuckers have some balls in Evanston, Illinois.
4. Nuclear fusion is only 30 years away from being given up on.
5. Don't trust people that remind you of Martin Short.
1. I should drive a car.
2. working is like loving a life sucking octopus.
3. Happiness is all the rage.
4. Nick Cage in Weatherman is like the uncomfortable uncle I never had.
5. Thanksgiving is about love, thanks and family and getting down with your bad self.