I recently took up a position at a telephone fundraising company in LA. Don’t get me wrong, this is a job that I would never in a million years choose to do but in light of recent financial hardships I really don’t have a choice. On the basis of the confidentiality agreement I signed I wont divulge the name of the company. Its too bad really because had I been able to say there exact name and location I would have thought up all sorts of lies and fabrications to make this new World Wide Dirt feature more entertaining.
That said everything following is the truth.
People care more about animals than other people. Charities raising money for the protection and treatment of animals are far easier to raise funds for than say The NAACP or ACLU. Can’t say I disagree. About half of people are assholes, about a forth of dogs.
A lot of people customize their answering machines with poems. One today ended with ‘and birds with broken wings don’t fly.’ It said something else but I was too busy thinking about all the places I’d rather be.
It’s easier to pretend your dead than say your not interested.
Someone ate all the free Ramen in the cupboard but no one thought it necessary to clean the carpets.
Evidently I don’t know the abbreviation for Nebraska.
George Bush thinks that the best way for teens not to have babies is not to have sex.
Civil rights are the most important thing on earth, more important than honesty, so important that we will scam all the old people to get it…all the old people.
Ok, if powers that be find out I’m lampooning their efforts I may be killed, this may be it.