I got some work as an audience member at a dance game show. Which was a little bit like standing in line at the LA soup kitchen. William H Macy says “My wife and I are incompatible.” I also feel like my balls are cut off. Anyway what am I talking about? So I stood around and clapped at this show until my hands went raw, raw as a mother fuck. Thing is they paid me in cash so whatever.
That bullshit went on for about ten hours. I nearly killed myself like five times. Then another three once the show started. The host was some bastard from E!. I always hated that name “E!”. Like the exclamation was totally necessary. It isn’t by the way. So goddamn. Either way it was a bunch of nonsense and some munchkin with red hair hit me in the balls twice. I was trying to be nice and not kick his ass but it was tough. I didn’t. I told him to stop swinging his arms. Leprechaun-mother-fucker.
It was fine after that. I ended and I went home. My roommates wanted to go out and get a drink. Usually in this case I wouldn’t but we had a guest so I did. I danced around to Fleetwood Mac and my roommates bought me some shots. Good sports.
I ended up on the corner singing old time blues with some old man with a jacket with a bunch of metals. I don’t know what he was up to. He was good.