1. get dick reduction surgery to prevent future back problems.
2. stop wasting my time writing for a blog that no one reads.
3. savor the little things in life, like sean's penis.
4. get my wings.
5. get back into breastfeeding.
6. think up more dead baby jokes
- what's worse than ten dead babies in a barrel?
one live baby in your girlfriend.
7. read one book an hour.
8. win a triathlon.
1. Stopping nailing women who are married to Bob Dole.
2. Get back to the basics, then learn astrophysics.
3. Stop talking about it and finally kill Parker.
4. Stop smoking cigarettes and move onto crack.
5. Convince everyone that my opinions are truth.
6. Stop eating seafood, start eating land food.
7. Finish one thing I start.
9. Fuck my life up less than the previous decade.